The hard truth: Permissive parenting isn't gentle parenting
“Kids these days,” decries the nosy neighbor as she scoffs at a toddler having a meltdown. Beside the child is a frazzled mother, exhausted, hands full of groceries. Internally, she thinks to herself that she really doesn’t need this right now; she just wants to get inside, get the groceries put away, and crash. The toddler, however, does not care. The toddler is crying, screaming, refusing to move. The mother is in a dilemma. She can’t walk inside, leaving the child in the driveway between the car and the road, but she also can’t spend forever outside when there are milk and eggs to put away. If only she had an extra set of hands, the mother thinks. If only the child would just listen. Her patience is wearing thin. The clock is ticking.
Depending on the mother's personal experiences, culture, ethnicity, geographic location, and numerous other factors, she may respond to her dilemma in several ways. That doesn’t make her response wrong; after all, how we engage our children and navigate discipline are ultimately forms of love in action. This is the oft-forgotten truth beneath every hand that offers a child a tablet, that raises the rod to keep from spoiling the child, and remains still even in moments of meltdown. Each choice we make, every action we take, and all that we do is an act of teaching. What, then, are we teaching?
Want to read the full essay?